krupā, or grace

krupā, or grace, is omnipresent. Like the supreme consciousness is the substratum of all creation, grace is the essence of all experience.

Every life experience is manifested grace but people usually associate grace only with a desired result. It is erroneous to think that only if I have a loving family, I am blessed with grace. Dhruva was born to an unloving father, and his childhood experience led him to seek the Lord, and ultimately he won the love of his father. In retrospect, his earlier experience of being rejected by his father was divine grace that eventually led to his spiritual evolution and material success.

In a culture of instant gratification, people are grateful for fleeting pleasures and lament over transient sorrows. Material success certainly comes through effort and grace, but the converse – the lack of wealth does not imply lack of effort or lack of grace. We have to deal with prārabdha – destiny with equanimity. We bear the results of our own past karma - actions. Then the question arises, can one change one’s prārabdha ? Definitely. As the current moment has been effected by the past, what we do in the current moment shapes the future. That individual effort or tapas, has to be blessed with krupā, or grace to bring us to the desired state. 

Many people associate grace with meeting the objective. What gets forgotten is that success may bring complacence and arrogance whereas failure can bring humility and spur one to selfless, more concerted and better-directed effort, and thus personal growth. Sometimes what appears to be an individual loss brings success to the higher cause, which is divine grace. The battle fought by Maharani Lakshmibai and the martyrdom of Sardar Bhagat Singh resulted in loss of life at the hands of the enemy but their sacrifice motivated others to dedicate their life for the cause of Indian independence from the British. Even the personal loss of life was effort blessed with grace.

Good health alone is not evidence of grace. The inspiring life of Stephen Hawking, the physicist from UK who suffers from a condition that has left him completely paralyzed for many years now, shows us that a beautiful life can be lived that benefits the world, even when suffering from physical ailments. Hawking himself was quoted on the universe, “The laws may have been decreed by God, but God does not intervene to break the laws.” I would beg to differ, taking the example of his life. I see Hawkins as a man who has risen above his destiny through self-effort blessed with grace.

So how is one to obtain this omnipotent omnipresent grace? In life, the presence of God is in the form of a guru. When one needs direction in life, a guru appears. The physical presence of a guru is not necessary to receive a guru’s grace. As with divine grace, the disciple may not always acknowledge the presence, or is aware of it, but the grace of a guru is bestowed forever.

Success has to be striven for. Results have a causal relationship with the effort put in, and the omnipresent grace is the catalyst. The current state has resulted by grace, and the effort to change the current state to a desired state needs grace. If we do not reach desired state, then that is grace as well because there is a lesson in failure that one needs to learn. 

A guru is personified grace. And the grace of a guru is needed to make knowledge effective. Drona, the military guru to the royals, did not accept the tribal prince Ekalavya as his disciple. Ekalavya struggled alone, using a statue of Drona for motivation, and became an excellent archer. But all this effort went to nothing when Drona asked for Ekalavya’s right thumb as his guru dakśiṇā - tuition. Karna sat still while a wasp bit through his leg, so that his guru Parashurama should be able to sleep peacefully. On waking, the guru recognized this as a Kshatriya trait while Karna had presented himself to be a Brahmin, and he cursed Karna to forget his knowledge when he needed it most. This curse led to Karna’s death in the battle-field.

śaraṇāgati, or complete surrender, is the acceptance of grace that allows a person to accept every situation life brings. Krishna is quoted as saying to Arjuna - sarva dharmān parityajya mamekamśaraṇam vraja|aham tva sarva pāpebhyo mokśa iśyami ma śuchaha|| When a person surrenders to the Supreme, he becomes the recipient of divine grace.

Even with divine grace and the grace of a guru, the importance of self-effort cannot be underestimated. Artists have mastery over their art, yet they have to make an effort to keep that mastery. Singers practice religiously every day to hit the right note, painters and sculptors spend hours in shaping their vision, chefs practice their culinary arts, musicians play the same piece repeatedly till they perfect it, and dancers put their body to the ultimate test. I can put in the same amount of time as the artist or possibly more, put in my best effort and yet not be able to perform as the artist. There is no success without grace, but grace does not lie in success - so what if nobody is there to evaluate and applaud? There is no opportunity without grace, but grace does not lie in opportunity - so what if you never got a chance to excel? Grace is the divine gift that is uniquely bestowed on an individual, and one has to make an effort to continue to deserve that grace. And, the fact that the effort is blessed with continued grace, is also grace.

Born Losers?

Is parenthood always a losing game? Can you never get it right? The recent debate on Asian parenting vs American parenting has been discussed ad nauseum on social networks and letters to editors of all newspapers and magazines.

The other day, the princess said - I wonder if my kids will blame me all the time. Why, do you blame me? - I asked. Of course - she said, in a matter-of-fact voice, and you blame your parents, I wonder if my kids will blame me. Let's go back to the critical issue here, - I said, you blame me for what? For everything, mom - said the teenager cheerfully, she has just been picked up from school, and now was texting away on her iPhone, her soccer cleats kicked off in the car and putting her feet up, chuckling at some message somebody had sent her. Really, you blame me? - if I just ask her often enough, she may give up and say, geez mom, jk.. But no such luck. She persisted. Yes, I blame you - she said, just like you blame your parents. No I don't - I said. Yes, you do - she said. Well, OK maybe, but they are to be blamed - I said. There you go - she said.

New Year Resolutions

I am one of those fortunate people who did not do much last year towards their New Year resolutions last year. The big benefit of procrastinating the whole year is that you can then do away completely with coming up with new resolutions in the New Year.

So I celebrate what I was able to accomplish last year without planning on it - I turned lacto-vegetarian after years of steadfastly maintaining an ovo-lacto-vegetarian profile, I now eat my dinner by eight and forgo dinner if I am not able to have it in time, and I made a trip to Tibet that I had not dreamed of.

And all of my New Year resolutions, I now inherit for the New Year. I may be able to claim something completed next year, or not. And maybe, like this year, I will end up doing something I have not thought of yet.

Happy New Year!!

My Personal Legend

One of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho, talks about his personal legend and asks people to list their unfulfilled desires on his blog.

In his own words, "It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At one point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend."


What is my legend? I understand it as swa-dharma. Says Krishna in the Bhagwad Geeta - one's own duty, though it may be worthless, is better than someone else's duty executed perfectly. Destruction in one's own duty is good - someone else's duty, on the other hand is dangerous. But what is that "one's own duty?" I believe each person has to figure that out for themselves. So often, we are so caught up in the mundane issues while living from day to day, that the purpose of life is forgotten. Sometimes life is better than expected, or more painful than expected - either way, we are so lost in the pleasures or disappointments of life, and forget that there is a higher purpose to a human life.


Coelho considers the personal legend "your blessing, the path God has chosen for you here on Earth. Whenever a man does that which gives him enthusiasm, he is following his legend. However, not everyone has the courage to face up to his own dreams." 

Many people are clear on what would make them happy. Many people are still trying to figure out. Some at least know the direction in which they would like to move but they are not exactly sure what they want in the end. Some people find that their goals are changing with time, others think that their goals are getting clearer with time. Some people are precise of what they want - I want to write a book, says a friend of mine. Others have a broad vision - I want to sing, says another friend. Not surprisingly, nobody has told me that their job is their personal legend.

My personal legend is to work with children. Not clear on how, but I know that ultimately that will be my life's work. Working with young minds is my way of tuning in to the Brahman, and finding ultimate peace and joy.

Kamal ki hype

Saw 5 episodes of SaReGaMaPa today - loads of singing talent among youngsters in India. There are 5 people left - Sugandha from Punjab with the mimicry talent, Bishakh from Bengal whose girlfriend's name is Sonam, "the laavani girl" Anu from Maharashtra, the ghazal singer Ranjit Rajwada from Rajasthan, and Kamal Khan from Punjab.

Who is Kamal Khan? Though his singing is good episode after episode, I have to strain to remember anything other than his singing. There is no story out there about him, nothing that is made fun of, nothing that is repeated about him in episode after episode - how is anyone to remember him beyond appreciating his singing? And do I remember the last song he sang? - No, such is the memory of the average audience member.

Some of the competitors who have left by now had better hype than this - the girl from Canada who said "actually" thrice in a sentence and was encouraged to speak each time to the show guest, the competitor from Pakistan with a soulful voice, the opera singer, the well-built guy from Punjab who had lifted Salman Khan on his shoulders, the girl from Bengal who was going through a divorce, the girl from Bengal for whom Wajid Khan said he loved her eyes, the girl who was a great classical singer and her family of four who live in four towns in India, the very lovable guy from Pakistan who danced as much as he sang...and the list goes on and on...there is a story attached to each face, but what is the story on Kamal?

In an age where hype pays more than talent and performance, I vote for Kamal Khan as my favorite singer for SaReGaMaPa 2010.

Giving thanks on Thanksgiving

As Thanksgiving weekend comes to a close, we have one day left to finally finish off the left-overs, finally do the cleaning and laundry and finish the homework in the case of a certain young person in the house.

I am grateful to Shiva for my family and friends, for the life and the lifestyle I am blessed with, and the wonderful moments in the year gone by. I am grateful for the opportunities to learn and serve, and a big thank you to the Chinmaya Mission for organizing the trip this summer to Kailash and Manas Sarovar this year with the wonderful group of people who made it memorable, the divine grace that allowed this trip to materialize, and the Sherpas who made it physically possible. 

I am grateful for finally being able to start teaching at Sunday school and work with children again. The innocence of youth gives a fresh perspective on life, and I am quite sure the discussions are far more enlightening for me than for the class. I am amazed at the workload of high school students, and so grateful I am not in high school, and that those who are in high school are so capable. 

Saw the Hindi movie Guzaarish on the eve of Thanksgiving, so I am especially grateful that while the rest of us lose sleep, complexion and hair over mundane issues, such people walk the earth who look divinely beautiful even in unimaginable misery...just kidding, really did like it...a wonderful movie with a wonderful message about what a wonderful gift a human life is.

Cooking for Thanksgiving

People always ask me what I will be making for Thanksgiving. Firstly, no turkey in our Vaishnav household. Secondly, all the entrees that I proudly make are called side dishes in the world I live in. Thirdly, we don't  particularly like pumpkins.

We do have plenty to be grateful for. So a Thanksgiving feast it is, each year. This year, I tried convincing the little one that a Gujarati dinner of rotli (pan-roasted flat bread), bataka nu shaak (potato curry), sev tameta nu shaak (tomato curry), undhiyoo (baked mixed vegetables), makai ni khichdi (mashed corn), lachko dal (lentil curry), bhaat (steamed rice), chhundo (pickled grated assorted fruit) had the same ingredients as the classic Thanksgiving meal, albeit with some good old Indian spices.

She said she did not want anything Indian. I reminded her that Thanksgiving was all about accepting the Indians and their way of life. After a brief nonsensical conversation, she knew it was no use discussing this further. She put her foot down and said, I want a tofurkey, a pasta dish, pumpkin pie, mashed potato and desserts.

There is nothing more labor-intensive than making a feast for three people. I could not get hold of a tofurkey which is a good thing, I am not sure anyone would eat it. Got the last pumpkin pie from Tom Thumb and some desserts from their bakery - that only two people would eat in our house. Made mashed potato and cheese macaroni. In place of the tofurkey, could I use paneer? The little God said yes. Does it need to be shaped like a turkey? At that point, why be vegetarian? The little God said no need. Ended up making paneer makhani. Made chhole - chick peas as well. And mango smoothies. The little one said hey, how did so much Indian food get on the table? Too late, time to eat now :), happy Thanksgiving!!

Naming the Blog

I have the right name for the blog now, a major accomplishment.

These are thoughts and experiences gathered over time. As I wondered what I should name the blog, simple names like Perspectives, Thoughts, Musings, A2Z, Alpha2Omega - I found that all these were already taken up. I had to start thinking of not what I was trying to do here, but how it would be received. Who is the audience? And that's when I started looking at Anybody, Nobody, AnyoneThere, and they were all taken up as well.

One of my dad's favorite pieces of poetry is a verse from "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard" by Thomas Gray. So BlushingUnseen it is - the name of this blog.