"Full many a ray of purest ray serene the dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen, and waste its sweetness to the desert air."
from "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard" by Thomas Gray

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Kailash 2017 Day 18 : In Kathmandu, Thursday Aug 31 2017


Sunday, August 27, 2017

Kailash 2017 Day 14 : Back to Saga, Sunday Aug 27 2017


I woke up at 2am, thinking there was a wild thunderstorm - a lot of noise, wind rustling, things being thrown about. As I sat in bed in the silence of the night, it was just the howling of the dogs, bringing back memories of 7 years ago. There was not a sound in the room. Everyone slept peacefully as I breathed in slowly, hesitantly for sudden movement or noise. Relaxed, I breathed out and as I exhaled, I could hear a high school band going nuts - drums, cymbals and all. I breathed once more, and got more of the same - chest wheezing, crackling, a rat-a-tat-a-tat rattle that reminded me of a Ruskin Bond story on the mongoose Rikki Tikki Tavi.


Grateful the Dolma La trek is behind us, wondering how I would reach Darchen with a rattling chest, I sat in bed to somewhat subdue the internal noise. As much as the existence of breath is valued, the racket it produces through the plumbing is unsettling. A short stroll outside at 3am put things in perspective - I had to reach Darchen by pony or foot the next day, and get into the bus for Saga.


In the morning, as we had tea, the ponies, yaks and dogs and the families of the pony drivers and the porters were all in early morning activity - shaking off sleep, ensuring stable saddles for the most part, ready for a short trek to the buses.







The walk from Zutulphuk to the buses is an easy and relaxed walk, but at some point one gets desensitized to the astounding beauty.






It is an easy stroll on the last day of the parikrama, if you are breathing. My lack of airflow necessitated pauses at every 100 meters.

As one walks down the Dzong-chu valley from Zutulphuk ( to Darchen (4790 meters, or ), Rakshas Tal can be seen in the distance. There is greenery, the horses and the yaks graze on the slopes of a narrow gorge. At many points along the way, there are rock collections with "OM Mani Padme Hum" etched on the rocks.


almost there

from here, we catch the buses to Darchen

back in Darchen again

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Kailash 2017 Day 13 : Deraphuk - Zutulphuk, Saturday Aug 26 2017

The day started early. At about 7am, we were ready with backpacks after breakfast. We were asked to walk till a bridge across the river, where the horses waited for their riders for the toughest day of the trek.


As I walked without breath, slowly and mechanically without the benefit of fresh air, the man in front of me prostrated himself completely to the ground with hands outstretched, then stood up and walked to the line drawn by his fingers, and did the same all over again.




These are the Buddhists of Tibet who add a degree of challenge to the parikrama - the clockwise circumambulation of Mount Kailash. The Bon - people who follow the original faith of Tibet, do the same in the counter-clockwise direction.


the east face of Kailash is rarely visible during this day of the parikrama
the people on the parikrama walk on their own, with their porters, each on his own yatra around the Divine

prayer flags start showing up near Dolma La pass
The Dolma La pass has expanded over the years. There used to be a small circle of flags, now the flags are strewn for over a mile around the center. There is a large cubic rock called the Phawang Mebar that holds the central flagpole, while many strings of flags are spread around with the many remnants of memorabilia people have left behind. People leave behind clothes, jewelry, animal skulls, human nail clippings and hair clippings. This pass at a height of 18,600-19000 feet is a a place of prayer and chanting. This is where I would have met the old woman or the man in the blue jacket, but I do not have any memory of seeing them.




After the Dolma La pass that separates the northern valley from the eastern valley, there appeared to be no reason to continue without air. I asked Hiraji if I can get some oxygen, and he obliged - a Sherpa with an oxygen cylinder walked with me, so I could get some oxygen. Though I was connected to the cylinder, I could not feel any air enter my lungs - it is a strange sensation to exist without the sensation of breath, without the chest expanding to an inflow of air, without the feel of a fullness of lungs, but I was walking and I was not breathing. A few times, I told the Sherpa to shut off the oxygen, because I was not taking it in. He tried to increase the pressure, but apparently there was no correction to be made, so we continued down the path with many pauses and without air.


prayer flags at Dolma La(5636 m, 18,600 feet)

Gauri Kund below, 5608 meters or 18,400 feet

the last view of Kailash behind the cliffs


Hyagreeva, past Dolma La

crossing the glacier
After many pauses and leaning on rock, and Hiraji sharing his roasted chana and roasted corn with me along the way, we were finally crossing the glacier.


horses, freed of their riders an hour ago, graze on the scant grass

the long walk ahead beckons, we have descended and will not see Kailash again
At the base of the mountain, as the last few people come down the mountain, I am still aware of the lack of airflow to the lungs, but the heart beats to the panchakshari as always. There is a conviction that I will reach Zutulphuk. I know from experience that only five people remain, so this is going to be a long 3-4 hours trek at my speed, so be it.


I caught the rain and the sleet, and at every turn of the mountain range, I would ask if this was Zutulphuk, and I was told - no, further ahead. At long last, the curiosity had died. I was on the pony, it was raining at some point, then there was sleet, I could barely feel with  my gloved hands but I was on a pony and the pony knew where to go, guided by my father. At long last, the mudhouse at Zutulphuk showed up - I did not recognize it, these are new mudhouse rooms with fresh paint on them.
There was a general cheer as I showed up - I was the last to enter the premises, the day with the longest trek activity was over, from the north face to the south east. Only the last eight miles of the parikrama remained for tomorrow. Annapurna and Hema brought me lukewarm Maggi soup. Drinking Maggi water after maybe eight or ten years, was not appetizing, but it appeared to give succor to the body. Temporarily nourished, I took the exhausted body to prostrate to Swamiji, it is Shiva's grace through him that I have reached this far. Neither this frail body nor this fickle mind has the strength on its own - the combined universe of Sherpas, ponies, ponymen, porters, their families, dogs and all, led by Swamijis with the grace of the Divine, take us on the physical journey across the mountains.
As I tried getting more Parle-G biscuits and tea, I found out that Anish in the next room was not doing well. I visited his room, at least three of the five people appeared sick. This is a high percentage of ill health than I have seen in earlier Kailash trips. Also, it is the month of September, when it is no longer so cold or raining, it is curious that so many of us are sick. A part of the reason is that there is only one doctor in the group who is herself very exhausted and sick, and the other reason is that with the constant oxygen checks by Karnali, people have stopped thinking for themselves. Lesson learned for future trips is to continue the daily check in each room and remind people to take their Advil and their paracetamol and their Dayquil.


AUM Namaha Shivaaya

Friday, August 25, 2017

Kailash 2017 Day 12 : Deraphuk, Friday Aug 25 2017

After breakfast, around 8:30am, our group climbed the slope in front of us to get closer to Kailash.


At some point in the ascent, I realized I was not breathing. There was no obstruction to the respiratory process, I was not struggling to breathe, I was not trying to suck in air, there was just no air coming in or leaving the body. There was no nutrition, no succor, no nourishment from the air, nor was I trying to get it. The body was surviving on its own stored energy, and I could have walked on slowly but I preferred to go down to the camp - that was the thought he had put in my mind. I told Hiraji, I was done - so he asked one of his Sherpas to go down and get another cooking Sherpa to stand with me as long as needed, and then accompany me back. I leaned against a rock, looked at the people climbing upwards towards Charanapada, and started my downward climb. Hiraji had asked me not to sleep once I reached my room, so it was a difficult sitting-up for 3-4 hours till the group got back.  


glacier waters at the foot of Kailash
It was Ganesh Chaturthi - the festival that starts with invoking Ganesha at home on the fourth day of Bhadrapada, and on the tenth day, bid him goodbye to go back to Kailash.


pooja prep for Ganesh Chaturthi

glaciers and ice streams


going back to Deraphuk

a view from Charanpada
The group got back by lunch - exhausted but exhilarated from the short trek to Charanpada. This is a good taste of the trek to Dolma La the next day, except that the trek past Dolma La promises to be unpredictable and exhausting, with the possibility of falling off ponies.


The sunset view today did not happen because of clouds.


AUM Namaha Shivaaya

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Kailash 2017 Day 11 : Darchen - Deraphuk, Thursday Aug 24 2017

As we get into buses at Darchen at 7, we can see already the movement of the ponies. Colorfully decorated ponies with their foals are walking towards Tarboche as well, to pick up their load.


ponies and babies as seen from the bus





pony riders coming in galloping towards Tarboche from neighboring villages

From Darchen at 4560 meters or 15000 feet, we have now driven for 20 minutes to Tarboche at an altitude of 4750 meters or 15,600 feet. Tarboche is the site of the annual SagaDawa festival in Tibet. Each year, the central flagpole lowered, decorated with  new prayer flags and raised again. The ability of the flagpole to stay pointed skywards, foretells a good harvest in the coming year.

As one approaches the prayer flags, one can look at the right at the sky burial site of Kyilkhor Teng.


Yama Dwar, with  the sky burial site in the cliffs behind

colorful bricks with mantras leaning on Yama Dwar

The site of Yama Dwar is getting fancier each year. The basic concept is that one goes through the structure and reaches beyond the fear of death. This was a small structure two decades ago through which people struggled to squeeze through, going by the images on Google. This new painted structure is convenient to walk through, and with the mixed Hindu and Buddhist traditions, it is filled with old clothes and small belongings like gloves and purses, and also finger nail clippings and hair tufts that people have left behind as a metaphor for a life left behind.





our group before the parikrama



As we waited for pony and porter, some trekkers I had seen at Darchen walked quietly past us. By the time we get our ponies, these trekkers may well be half-way to Deraphuk. This is how I am going to come here one day - at my own pace, around the mountain. 

this is how I intend to come next time

Tibetan women sizing us and our backpacks up

yatris with backpacks in line for the pony auction

my pony, far stronger than my last pony, and my ponyman in a brown hat



As we start our trek, to the right would have been Ganesh and Trinetra that I had seen at Ashtapada. I missed specifically seeing them at this time - I was not sure how I would reach Deraphuk, my health was a concern though there was no obvious ailment.
 
the  journey begins


the cars run through the water as ambulances and emergency vehicles

horses grazing in the valley

first view at Deraphuk

Anish walked most of the way, reaching 2 hours after the ponies

finally, he showed himself

another settlement in the distance

the first rays of sunset

the North view settling for the night, the snake's hood clearly visible over the landscape
This was the last view at around 8pm at Deraphuk, after we had already had dinner. On earlier trips, the stay at Deraphuk was stress-filled because we had to leave early the next morning for Dolma La. But today, it is a rested, relaxed evening, because we have planned to stay an additional night at Deraphuk. Tomorrow, the group will go to Charanpada - the closest most people come to Kailash to touch the glacial waters around it.


AUM Namaha Shivaaya

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Kailash 2017 Day 10 : Darchen, Wednesday Aug 23 2017

Around 1 in the morning, we walked towards the lake. Dressed in 4-5 layers, armed with a comforter and blankets to lie on and cover ourselves with, we were dressed to witness the subtle elements that any of us may be able to perceive.


The night sky was full of stars. With the dense darkness at Manas Sarovar, that needs a headlight to see where one is going, and the unchartered land making it essential to look at the ground as one walks to avoid stones and rocks and boulders and puddles of water and little pits, it does take a while once one is settled on the ground, to look up and adjust to the magnificence of the sky. The sky above looked like a brilliant source of light, covered with a black sheet through whose pores, light would twinkle out as a million stars. There were shooting stars - the sky was active with movement. And yet, once the eyes adjusted, it was easy to separate out the distractions from the divine lights. One, in particular, was moving about quite a bit, from side to side and towards us and back again. A couple of times, I felt there were lights near the surface of the water, but it may have been my exhausted brain. There were a couple of others in the sky above, but they did not appear to be as active. By 3 in the morning, I could barely keep my eyes awake, and there were so far 3-4 sources of light that I wanted to know about. The one most active identified himself as I humbly requested him. My respects and prostrations to energies that I do not recognize or understand, I know they exist. And if there is a productive need, I will learn to communicate with them.


A two hour nap later, I was brushing my teeth for the start of the new day. The Sherpas who would have woken up an hour earlier, provided warm water and plastic mugs to rinse the mouth and brush teeth with. I think back on Tapovan Maharaj's description of his Kailash yatra, walking through forest and thorns and leeches, bleeding and cut feet, hungry and sick and tired, not knowing when the next meal will come and what it will be. At times, people would respect him as a Lama, and at times, he would not have a covered place to lie down. He recognized that his body was frail for the tapas required of a sanyasi, and yet he would go through it as the prarabdha of this lifetime. He had come till Manas Sarovar - the gompas were different then, he does not describe them, maybe he came up to Chiu Gompa too, which is a Shakti sthal. He may have watched the night sky too, he has not described those experiences. But he did make a decision not to undertake the parikrama of Kailash, and he returned to Taklakot from Manas. The adiguru, Shankaracharya, whose footsteps I see in every spot I visit, was much more aggressive in his self-denial, had traveled to Kailash and written a most beautiful and deep composition that I hope to understand somewhat in this lifetime.


Our yatra, in comparison to these great personages, is a luxury trek. We gathered again at 7 in the same room that we had performed the pooja yesterday. This morning, Kailash is under clouds, but I have the confidence from previous yatras, that with the effect of the Swamijis praying for the grace of Kailash, he will make himself visible after this morning yagna.


morning yagna

full-fledged chanting at Manas Sarovar, a first


the yagna kunda


towards the  lake

Chiu Gompa monastery on the hill behind the Chiu Gompa guesthouse
We did not get a chance in the short visit to climb up to the monastery. It is a short ascent, the monastery is literally built into the cliffs, and it has a clear view of Kailash all year long. Only a handful of monks live here, the monastery contains Buddhist scriptures and has daily ritual worship that other visitors have witnessed. In my three visits, I have yet to offer my respects - maybe this is what I come for the next time. Chiu Gompa means the Little Bird Monastery - named so for its position on the mountain and the view.  


As we drive, we see Kailash in the distance

Many photographs and gasps later, we settle to having the south view of Kailash on the right side of the bus

the bus stopped, unbelievable that we have this vast expanse to worship the south view

the road with the view of Ashtapada on the right side, where we sit to pray now


Trinetra on the left (southwest), the steps for the flow for Ganga in the middle, the devoted Nandi to the right  
 The clouds meander on, casting light shadows on the back of my father's head. We spent a good time here - there was a bright sun, a light breeze, vast open land across which the south face of Kailash could be seen, Ashtapada to the right - sacred to the Jains. It was a tableaux to bring devotees to their knees in gratitude. This was a beautiful gift from the Karnali team to our group. We had known we would be able to see the south face of Kailash as we traveled towards Darchen, but none of us had imagined spending more than an hour in his presence, some of us chanting the Rudram and other chants, praying to him, thanking him for all he has given us including the opportunity to thank him.

Anish prostrating himself before the south face

prayer flags to mark the Shakti sthal with Kailash, Nandi and Ashtapada from left to right

I have seen the southeast and the south face so far

view from the hotel in Darchen, unbeatable

our hotel in Darchen
We were in Darchen in time for lunch at 1. The Himalaya Kailash hotel in Darchen is on the market street, and many from the group left to do some shopping of Tibetan articles after lunch. Many of the vendors have brought in jewelry in little bedsheets that they have spread out in the hotel passage. The negotiations bring home Mussoorie and Ahmedabad and Delhi - wherever one has visited a Tibetan market. Suddenly, all the sympathy for the challenges of a hard life in Tibet are forgotten, and people who spend $5 for a small latte are bickering for 15 Yuan in the land of Shiva. Such is the delusion of devotion that people tear up at seeing a mountain or are overwhelmed with gratitude after dipping in a lake, but they have already lost sight that all names and forms are manifestations of the same substratum. While it is true that one should not pay 300 Yuan to a vendor selling "coral", one should also not gloat over paying just 50 Yuan - that is less than $10, certainly far less than what would pay for this shiny bauble in Dallas. One needs to find a healthy medium where one pays more than what I would pay in Dallas but less than the extreme first price quoted by the vendor. If I  am the one collecting shiny baubles like a robin, at least I should not steal them like a robin. Please ensure the people of Tibet have enough in their pantry to last the cold winter.


Tomorrow, we will go by bus to Tarboche, and then take ponies to Deraphuk.


AUM Namaha Shivaya